(Beau Sia) Jena, oh my gawd, I can’t believe I have to write about this: 6

Why couldn’t this assignment to address current events have happened when Cho Seung Hui dropped? Or Vincent Chin? In many ways, I don’t know the full scope of those tragedies, but I can connect my own life experience directly to both. It’s also more likely that the judgement of my writing concerning either would be less severe than about the Jena 6. I’m on youtube. I’m not ignorant to the dismissal of ideas coming from the place of, “What does this Chinese son of immigrants from the Philippines, raised in Oklahoma, living the life of an artist in NY and LA know about the history of ethnic tension between black and white in Jena, much less this country?”

Already, I can feel the emails saying, “We are not white, we are caucasian,” “We are not black, we are African-American,” “We are not African-American. We are not from africa, we’ve been here for generations,” and so on.

I imagine more emails. “What does he know about the legal system, he claims to be an artist,” “He’s biased because he’s also a ‘minority,’” “He’s biased because asian people secretly hate black people,” “What of his work qualifies him to publicly speak about a topic like this?” all the while, anonymous comments flood the internet from people self-righteously sharing what should be done and why from the comfort of their home computers.

I read some articles. I’ve asked a few friends (“Were they white?” “Were they asian?” “Were they black? I mean, African-aAmerican? I mean, black?”). There was an OP ed. from the D to the A. Whee.

So here I am, afraid to the point of not even writing about it for over half a page, because of the judgement of others. The hate I may receive no matter what I write. And of course, the dreaded, “Being taken out of context.”

What is it that makes me feel like I’m not allowed to share my thoughts on this without condemnation? Why can we all speak volumes about global warming, even though few of us are qualified enough to speak on the complete picture?

Why do we feel capable of dealing with the issues facing the people of Iraq, but are quick to decide that the Jena 6 is the stuff of the DA, the great state of Louisiana, the south, etc. and so on?

Personally, I was too lazy to investigate the grounds for acquittal in a criminal investigation, trial, or whatever it’s called. I’m legally a moron. I have a lawyer, an accountant, a manager, and never read the contracts I sign. With so much of the emphasis of this incident grounded in “Acquit,” or, “Try them for attempted murder,” there’s little I could offer that would be definitive, or accurate.

So, gut feelings aside, and tremendous fears of Mos seeing me next and saying, “Why didn’t you fully back us up?” I’ll begin with this:

Ethnic prejudice and hatred is alive and well in this country. Ignorance is at an all time high. We are much smarter about these things than we’ve been in the past.

Like men being taught by ‘The Pick-Up Artist’ how to effectively make women feel like they respect them, whether they do or not, we are quickly evolving the language to seem like these issues no longer exist, while still encouraging the actions for them to flourish. Or worse, we are getting better at commiting acts of hatred without actions as obvious as fire hoses. Death by embargo is still death.

Statistically speaking, I wonder if we took every inter-ethnic beating that ever went down in this country, determined what percentage of defendants were tried for attempted murder, what their ethnic background was, what the numbers would be?

I wonder if we taught the events that occurred in Germany during WW II as hatred, and not strictly Nazi hatred, how many other acts would we see in our present as exact reflections of the same mentality and sentiment towards the Jews during that time?

I wonder if we didn’t just react to only the most extreme of incidents, and actually had the time and energy to address much of what we ignore in our everyday, would we be able to prevent some of these incidents? If there is a process to determining who we choose as America’s Next Top Model, isn’t there a process to determining who we will blame for our economic frustrations?

Am I being too vague? Do you get hate mail being told you’re dead if you say another word? Did Pat Buchanan turn your poem of empowerment into a poem of ethnic cleansing for all his fans? Do you walk the street being told to go back to the country you weren’t born in, then told that this isn’t hate? Do you receive anonymous comments for every word you share with the world telling you that you’re racist because you didn’t take a particular side? That you’re evil because you neglected a detail? That you’re wrong for expressing yourself, even if you stated nothing more than a personal idea and made no indication of taking a specific action?

Do I understand how a series of events could lead a person to the choices I’ve read in these articles? Yes. On all sides. Would I make the same choices? No. On all sides. Well, I would’ve definitely sat under ‘The White Tree.’ If we’re so spoiled we feel threatened by someone sitting under a public tree, you know this country’s got problems. But hey, I’m not the principal of a school. Who am I to address what underlies a community I am not entrusted to make sure is a nurturing one? And even if I visited this community, I’m sure there are members of it who’ve been a part of it for longer than myself. Probably since way before 1965. But I forget most of history. Although, I do some of the same things I’ve done since I was 5. Like bite my nails. I guess I haven’t met the person willing to teach me why I shouldn’t do that without feeling completely judged for it. But I digress. Jena 6, yeah. That’s what this is about.

Do you sense a pattern in my wandering mind? How the moon affects the ocean, even though we can’t see it? How my clothing choices are as rooted in other’s perceptions of asian folk as it is in a love of color and a desperate need for attention? The periscope often only sees what it’s looking for, and not what is.

If you’ve read this far, I congratulate you. I know it can be difficult. I never watch the game, I only watch the highlights. I don’t see how the flu affects a player during the course of a game, only the fumble. And if you’ve read this far without holding on too tightly to one sentence you disagreed with, a gold star. I want to hate Breakfast at Tiffany’s because of Mickey Rooney’s portrayal of an asian man, even though I love the story. And if you’ve read this far trying to figure out more of what I’m trying to convey instead of what you are looking for in my writing, based on what you want to believe, I owe you a drink. That is hella hard, ya’ll. I’m in love with a woman, and often focus too much on how she’s not telling me she loves me, instead of what pain has made her incapable of expressing her love openly.

Believe me, I could go on far longer and vaguer than seven seasons of nationally televised nightly news in every major market, because even I know the timeline of how I got to where I am begins before my birth. But it’s late. You’ve got work without overtime. There’s a schedule that probably doesn’t even give you time for this. I wish I coulda just written this as bullet points. The final paragraph approaches…

We need to see ourselves in each other more, mister District Attorney. We need to find the seed that sprouted the tree, before we realize it isn’t a peach tree, but a poop tree. We need to listen to what’s going on all around us, instead of only tuning our ears into our favorite station where all the songs we know are. We need to see that we’re basically all in this together, Louisiana, before god sends down the alien invasion to remind us that the differences that make us hurt, and judge, and separate ourselves from one another, are so miniscule when a species of murderous beings with quantum lazer guns is set to kill us all, because to them, we are all basically the same.